Translated by Tianic, edited by Grammarly
By the time when the Prime Minister’s men broke open the door, I was challenging a man with a loud voice “Are you done?” while stomping on his face.
“Hands off!” The Minister yelled, “I SAID HANDS OFF!”
“My hands aren’t onto anything, Minister!” I answered while my foot ran over the Treasurer’s face a few more times.
“Stop it!” He changed his wording, “Come around! Behave yourself!”
“Oh? Why am I taking orders from you?” I answered and kept on my footjob.
“I am the Prime Minister of Swabia, first-ranked Duke!” He raised his voice, “I am ordering you!”
“Fuck your mama!” I let go of the idiot under me and went to the Minister’s face with a finger pointed at his nose, “What are you, acting like an old bird!?”
“En?” He didn’t catch my words, “Old bird?”
“How dare you insult the Minister!” An old man appeared from the back, “Undisciplined man! I was right in expelling you!”
I widened my eyes for a while only to recognize this bold guy was the headmaster of the Royal Academy.
“Why do you care?” I smoothly pushed his shoulder and gave him a swirl, made him circled and fell.
“Yo… you! You shameful brat!” Desperate Minister grabbed my collar, “You don’t care who I am, or who he is! I’m taking you to the king!”
“Sure! I’m not afraid of you!” I ditched his hands, “Lose it, your hands!”
“It’s ‘loosening your hands’!” The headmaster, who was left on the ground, corrected, “Uncultured man!”
“How dare you hit again!”
“Well! Hit you once, twice, what’s the difference!”
“I’m not wasting my time here! TO THE KING!”
I acted as wild and rebellious as I could while watching Fischer caring for the other two high officials of the empire. His Majesty cooperatively went out hunting.
“Minister, my father went out this morning, if you could…” Fischer said with prudence, “Is it really that important?”
“Yes!” The Minister was blue in the face, “I have a matter of utter importance! I’ll wait for the king!”
“Well, you can have your moment.” I was not used to standing alone and was eager to sit somewhere, “I’m not keeping myself here!”
“I dare you!” The Minister was on the edge of an eruption, “I dare you to move a step!”
“One step! Two steps! Three steps…” I walked around him, “It’s not so hard, right? What’s your move anyway?”
“Scamp!” Now he was completely out of control, and “slap,” his palm landed on my face.
I did not see that coming and got hit right on the face. It was a huge insult.
“FUCK!” Chill brought forth from my feet and anger built out from guts! I then, with lightning speed, caught him, put him down, and rode on his back.
First I lightly punched his stomach.
“Ohhhhh…” Minister rounded his mouth, probably thought crying was not a nobility’s manner.
Then I put the back of my hands above his heart and smashed on it. This way, nobody will be able to inspect any wounds even he’s beaten to death.
“Hmmmmm…” Now he hummed. Impressive, he could groan with his nose.
I was foul-mouthed and ready to punch him a third time only to find out I was captured by many. People trapped me by the feet and hands and dragged me to a chair. I peeked from spaces between the crowd. That jerk face Minister was close to dying.
A handful of high mages began healing and feeding potions to the poor man. They’ve finally managed to drag him back from the edge of a coma.
“You…” The jerk face pointed at me, trembled, “Good job…”
I roared and bounced from the chair again to be forced down by a few royal guards.
A valuable royal chair was not built for my second slumping. “Crack!” It broke into pieces and was in an early grave.
“What are you doing!” The King has finally shown up, hunter suited up, “What’s this place? Are you all drunk?!”
“Why are you all pushing Viceroy Kheda? Let him go!” The King then saw the Minister in a chair, “Are you OK? Have you forgotten your manners?”
I knelt then threw myself into quick actions with a face of sadness, sorrow, and complicated emotions.
“Keep on!” I thought, “If only I could let out some tears.”
“Please uphold justice, Your Highness!” The Minister was on his hands and knees, “I was… Cohen, this brat slapped me!”
“Damn it!” I thought regretfully, “He said it first, where are my tears?”
“Minister, calm down.” His Majesty casually helped the Minister up, “Please take a seat and let the others tell me the details.”
The Minister tore and sat and nodded.
“Father, about the Minister being slapped.” Fischer said, “I witnessed the whole thing, may I?”
“Granted.” The King glanced at me with an expression of “Why on earth are you making it this big?” and answered, “Minister was hurt. This is huge. Now, summon the courtiers, let’s talk this matter in the great hall!”
The King’s men were gathered at the Grand Palace.
“It began by the Minister saying ‘Scamp.’ Then he slapped Viceroy Cohen.” Fischer was extraordinarily clever. He knew he could state this affair from backward forth and separate it into chunks. “Then like a crazy man, Viceroy Cohen put the Minister on the ground and punched him… twice.”
“Your Majesty!” Someone stepped forward, “There was something else before that…”
“Hold on a moment. Let’s focus on this matter.” The King and his son acted perfected together, “Is this true, Minister?”
“Yes… it is.”
“Why would our Minister abuse a viceroy verbally?” My father looked at Fischer and complained.
“His words were, and I quote ‘I have a matter of utter importance! I’ll wait for the king!’. Then Viceroy Kheda said he’s not staying and wanna leave. The Minister dared him to walk a step. And then like this, Cohen hit the Minister.”
“Oh!” My father paced ahead and faced the Minister, “Was it just because Cohen walked around you? Alright, now I’m walking, are you going to swear and hit me! Viceroys do not take orders from the Minister, are you aware of that?”
“Visual!” The King said, “Don’t act like a child!”
“Your Majesty!” My father aimed at the Minister, “He hit my son!”
“Enough!” The King said, slightly annoyed, “Are you done talking!? Stay put! Let this go for now!”
“But Your Majesty…” Luhrmann shouted, “I was hit!”
“You hit first, admit it!” King said impatiently, “You were wrong in the first place, live with it. Let this go!”
“Anything else.” Asked the king, “Anything related to this matter?”
“One more thing,” Fischer said loudly, “The Treasurer has an accusation of Viceroy Kheda, said he abused him. Furthermore, the Minister held the same on Viceroy Kheda at the same moment in the same place.”
“Is that so? You are indeed a troublemaker.” The King gazed at me, “What did you say?”
“Your Majesty! I know!” The Royal Academy headmaster, who has been neglected till this moment, said, “Viceroy Kheda expressed with wretched language about his anxious and impulsive eagerness to have unordinary and immoral male and female relationship with Minister’s mother. More to that, Viceroy Kheda made a terrible metaphor as to compare the Minister with a particular male organ, the kind of filthy.”
To end with his words, the old man drew with a gesture.
The Minister listened to the soft-in-head nerd to finish his show-off on academic integrity. With a constant and compelled twitching on the face, he said nothing. All people who were in the hall were stunned and lowered their heads, focusing hard on what was the actual meaning of his words.
I forced to not smile and prayed not to cramp my belly.
The King revealed a weird face, “Let’s take a break, washroom?”